Supporting Your Child Through Back-to-School Stress
Key points
Listening and empathy help kids feel understood and more ready to deal with difficult emotions.
Routines in sleep, meals, and exercise boost resilience and focus.
Stay connected and encourage campus or school support resources.
Watch for warning signs—like changes in mood, sleep, or energy—and view seeking help as a sign of strength.
Back-to-school season can bring excitement as well as anxiety. Research consistently shows that transitions—whether starting a new grade, entering high school, or moving away to college—are major stress points for children and young adults. For kids already coping with depression or anxiety, these changes can feel especially overwhelming.As parents, we cannot prevent every stressor, but we can buffer our children against them by offering support, structure, and understanding.
Supporting High School Students
Adolescence is a time of rapid brain development. The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that helps regulate emotions and plan ahead—is still maturing. This makes high school students more vulnerable to stress, especially when combined with academic pressure and shifting peer relationships.
How parents can help:
Normalize stress. Adolescents benefit when adults validate their feelings. Something as simple as saying, “I can see this is stressful for you, and that’s understandable,” reduces shame and encourages open dialogue.
Encourage healthy routines. Teens need 8–10 hours of sleep per night, along with consistent nutrition and exercise, to regulate mood and attention. Supporting your teen in building routines has both physical and psychological benefits.
Be available—but respect autonomy. Parental warmth combined with respect for independence predicts better outcomes in adolescence. Create safe opportunities to talk, but don’t force it.
Model healthy coping. Adolescents learn by observing. When you share how you take a walk to manage stress or set limits at work, you teach your teen valuable life skills.
Supporting College Students
The transition to college often coincides with living away from home for the first time. Students may struggle with balancing academics, finances, and social life. Rates of anxiety and depression rise significantly in the first two years of college.
How parents can help:
Stay connected in developmentally appropriate ways. Supportive parent–child communication protects college students’ mental health. Ask your student how often they’d like to check in, and respect their wishes.
Encourage campus resources. Counseling centers, student health services, and peer support groups are common, but many students hesitate to use them. Normalize help-seeking as a sign of resilience, not weakness.
Promote balance. College students may feel pressure to “do everything.” Gently remind them that adequate rest, downtime, and boundary-setting are key to success—not obstacles to it.
Listen first, problem-solve later. Many students simply need validation. Phrases like “That sounds difficult. I believe you’ll find a way through it” help them feel heard without disempowering them.
When a Child Is Already Struggling with Depression or Anxiety
For children and young adults with existing mental health concerns, back-to-school transitions can exacerbate symptoms. Depression and anxiety are among the most common conditions in youth, affecting nearly one in five adolescents.
How parents can help:
Recognize warning signs. Look for changes in sleep, appetite, energy, and social engagement. Unlike everyday stress, depression and anxiety symptoms are persistent and interfere with functioning.
Validate experiences. Avoid minimizing (“You’ll be fine”) and instead use reflective statements (“It sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now”).
Engage professional help. Therapy, counseling, and—when appropriate—medication can make a meaningful difference. If your child already has providers, touch base with them as the school year begins.
Collaborate with schools. Both K–12 schools and colleges have processes for accommodations, such as extended time on tests or modified workloads. Early communication with school staff can reduce unnecessary stress.
Care for yourself. Parenting a child with mental health challenges is stressful. Seeking your own support—whether through therapy, support groups, or self-care practices—is both necessary and a model for your child.
The Year Ahead
Back-to-school transitions are stressful for many children and young adults, but they are also opportunities for growth. When parents provide warmth, validation, and structure, they help their children build resilience in the face of challenge. Supportive relationships are one of the strongest predictors of mental health across the lifespan.
As a parent, it’s easy to feel pressure to “get it right.” But remember, your child doesn’t need perfection—they need presence. Simply listening, showing up, and letting them know they are not alone goes a long way. Small, everyday gestures—packing a favorite snack, sending a quick encouraging text, taking a few minutes to check in—can make a child feel safe and supported.
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It’s also important to remind yourself that stress is not inherently harmful. With your steady support, your child can learn that challenges are part of life and that they have the tools to cope. When children see that they can manage stress—and that help is available when needed—they build confidence that will serve them for years to come.
Finally, give yourself permission to lean on your own support system. Parenting through transitions is hard work, and caring for yourself makes you more present for your child. With compassion—for them and for yourself—you can help your child step into the school year with a sense of strength, safety, and hope.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016). Teens need more sleep: But how can parents help? Retrieved from https://www.aap.org
American College Health Association. (2022). National College Health Assessment III: Undergraduate student reference group executive summary. Silver Spring, MD: American College Health Association.
Casey, B. J., Jones, R. M., & Hare, T. A. (2008). The adolescent brain. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1124(1), 111–126. https://doi.org/10.1196/annals.1440.010
Compas, B. E., Jaser, S. S., Bettis, A. H., Watson, K. H., Gruhn, M. A., Dunbar, J. P., ... & Thigpen, J. C. (2017). Coping, emotion regulation, and psychopathology in childhood and adolescence: A meta-analysis and narrative review. Psychological Bulletin, 143(9), 939–991. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000110
National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Major depression. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov
Schiffrin, H. H., Liss, M., Miles-McLean, H., Geary, K. A., Erchull, M. J., & Tashner, T. (2014). Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(3), 548–557. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-013-9716-3
Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent–adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1111/1532-7795.00001
